Full steam ahead

After our official meet up we talked a little more and got our first appointments set up for start of November 2013

Before any surrogacy transfer can go ahead there is some red tape that needs to be completed before hand.

This can vary with every state, and some clinics may add extra rules like for example in most other states you have to go before a committee who decide whether both parties are suitable for surrogacy, this is not law in state of QLD but some clinic's have it as part of their policy's.

 For the Clinic my ips were with we had to have two counselling sessions, one was with our own partners and then we had a group one all together, 

this was very useful to discuss a lot of different issues, like how we saw this journey going during pregnancy and after, how we would like the birth to go, what we both expected of each other and how decisions would be made if something was to go wrong.

All our counselling sessions went great we were all on the same page with everything and we were so excited to take the next steps.

We also had to have a contract drawn up which sadly is not legal binding, only part that is legal binding is that the surrogate is not out of pocket for any pregnancy related costs, 

I still cannot get my head around the fact that even tho this baby would genitally be my ips baby that I could decide to keep their baby at the end of all this because I would be the birth mother. 

We then went to meet the fertility clinic and had a good talk about what to expect their end, and had some blood tests done.

My Intended parents already had Embryos frozen and ready for whenever we got the all clear to go ahead which thankfully was very fast we had first transfer end of November.

I remember always thinking yep this will work I’m so fertile, but sadly that little one didn't stick I remember promising myself at the start of all this that if the transfer did not work I would not blame myself, well that was defiantly easier said than done, my Intended mother was great tho very supportive but I felt so bad.

We decided to wait till February for another go as I had a cruise booked in January and too hard to fit it all in with meds etc while away and this gave me time to come to terms with first try not working.

Over the next few months we had some highs but sadly quite a few lows, I don't really want to get into it too much here as it is very hard to have to re live it all, but we tried another three transfers over this time and 2 worked, one sadly we lost at 8 weeks and not sure on the reason why, and the 2nd we lost at 12 weeks due to a chromosome issue and anencephaly.

Throughout all these lows I cannot comment enough at how amazing my friend/intended mother was, always by my side, always worrying about me before herself, even through her own grief

  She is one strong lady and will forever be close to my heart just like both these bubs will be as well.

We nick named the baby we lost at 12 weeks as owlet and I have gotten a tattoo on my wrist in memory of him, every time I feel low or sad I look at my tattoo and think of what could have been and what should have been, but it also gives me hope.

I choose the three colors from mine, the intended father's and intended mothers favorite colors, the three stars on the right hand side are for my Poppa, Granny and son Ryan who are all in heaven.

Due to reasons out of both my intended parents and myselfs hands, sadly our journey came to an end on new years eve 2014 but my friendship with my intended mother will never die, we have stood by each other through thick and thin and I will always have a special place in my heart for her.

As I said there is so much more to this journey but did not want to go into it to deep due to respect for my Friend, and due to not wanting to live all the heartache over again myself x