First big step

Well this morning I thought I would do a new intro post on the Surrogacy page for IP’s to say that I am looking at helping another couple, 

I had so many mixed emotions about doing that post.

Even tho my last IM has given me nothing but love, support and her blessing to start a new journey I still felt some Guilt and sadness.

 I felt like I was betraying what I had with my last IM and that she may feel our journey meant nothing to me by me moving forward and looking for a new one, but that defiantly was not the case, our journey means the world to me and even tho we sadly did not get to the end result I have made such a strong amazing friend out of it who will forever be a part of my life  

Then there was excitement that this new journey might get all the way to the end result,

To nerves that no IP’s would be interested and it could be the end of a lifelong dream I have had,

To knowing that this new journey will have so many bitter sweet moments.

The best I could do was to trust my gut again and do what feels best in the moment, I read the post so many times before I pushed the enter button.

I got a few replies from some lovely couples some local and some interstate, ideally we would love local as we (Darren and I) really want the IPs to feel apart of this whole process and feel like they are the mum and dad because that is what they are, we want them at as many appointments as possible and at the birth of their long awaited baby, to see their face when they first see and hold their baby will be priceless and I have pictured this in my head a million times

I started chatting to a few IP’s that contacted me but even tho there was nothing “wrong” with any of the amazing couples none really clicked like I was hoping, I was hoping for Love at first site again and I just wasn’t feeling that.